My niece’s birthday party is this weekend. She’s going to be a year old. She’s absolutely precious and I’m excited to celebrate her first birthday. At least, I’m trying to put that at the forefront of my mind. I’m trying to not allow the negativity to prevail. It’s hard when I know I’m not wanted there. My mother doesn’t want me to be there. My sister doesn’t want me to be there. I grew upset when they put their own preferences for my ex above the needs of my child and honestly that hurt my feelings more than my mom choosing my ex over me.

It’s so messy. My mother has always been messy. She does whatever the fuck she feels like doing, right or wrong, and expects everyone else to just swallow whatever it is regardless. That’s fine, but I don’t want or need to be involved. I really want to just remove myself from the whole thing.

My sister skipped out on my son’s birthday, which is shitty. But it sent a clear message that I had no difficulty interpreting. The kids don’t matter in this, it’s all about adult drama and nonsense.

I’m just over it. I want to pull the plug, I don’t need these people in my life.